Monday, 3 September 2012

Kenyan TV: mexican-soap watching afro-cinema loving people

2nd September 2012. Today will go down in history, or at least in my own personal history, because today is the day that my baby brother takes his first step towards 'drinking at the table of men'. He was flipping through the channels on TV when he said with a snort, "Puh! Nothing on but soap operas!" Time froze for a moment. I wanted to hug him with tears in my eyes but I feared this show of big-sister-mother-bear affection would reverse what was now the first sign that he would grow up normal. So instead I remained outwardly calm and commented that Sundays were usually like all-you-can-bear buffet of soaps and wedding shows.

I have to admit that my baby  small brother had begun to worry me a little. He was all of 12-going-on-to-13 and whereas I had taken, knowing all the words to most High School Musical ballads; watching Hanna Montana religiously every evening on KTN; and (by far the most worrisome trait) having an insatiable appetite for Mexican soaps, in my stride, I had begun to wonder when he would outgrow it all. I wondered: 'What if he grew up into those single-ladies-watching vampire-diaries-loving men who fall for Mexican-soap-watching afro cinema-loving women?' Even the thought made me shudder. Turns out my fears were unnecessary. He has finally woken up to the obvious reality that soaps, especially Mexican ones, will do irreversible damage to your present and future standing in society. Not to mention the psychological damage that will be done to the children whom you will be brainwashed into prone to naming Gustavo, Antonio, Junior or Chineke (Oga?).

Its obvious that I have a lot against soaps...its not personal. I have a lot against most of what is aired on Kenyan TV. The news are over-sensationalized; melodrama being more weighty than facts. Probably the reason why in my high school watching news during weekends was considered entertainment. Comedy shows are full of poor satire and worn out stereotype jokes (seriously, my conscience is way funnier.) Reality/ talent shows like TPF, Sakata, Slimpossible provide much needed comic relief at the auditions stage... and if the talent is as laughable as it was in TPF 5, way into the show as well. The soaps are everywhere... like a plague. Terrible accents, annoying high-pitched voices and a non-existent script. Oh, and not forgetting how they so blatantly advocate illiteracy and teenage pregnancy.

However, Kenya has some saving grace... like upcoming Kenyan rock bands. I stumbled upon Crystal Axis. They are a teenage punk band made up of these four guys: Neel Vaghela, Abuga Aroni, Ahmed Bulhan and Djae Aroni. They are pretty awesome...they even have awesome names. Of course they are awesome... they are a punk band after all...
Crystal axis: I may have a little crush...maybe

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