My friend, Joan, says that I am the only person she knows who composes their own Christmas messages instead of just forwarding the same old tired texts. I think people who forward those verbose, boring monologues filled with unnecessary emoticons are the real terrorists. Followed closely by the lazy asses who don't add a personal message in a card. I suppose these little things tick me off because I am a hoarder of words. Being a voracious reader is one thing... then there's me who still has journals from Form One tucked away in my room. I keep around almost every bit of private, written correspondence: a poem someone wrote me in high school; cards from people that I used to know... the words mean so much more than the gifts that accompanied them. When the boyfriend and I get into a fight sometimes he writes these little notes for me to find later on. I have almost every single one of them tucked away in my latest journal. Yes... I am that kind of girl and if we are friends, I will send you a freshly composed Christmas message and not try to get mad when you reply with one of those messages that even you didn't bother to read.
So, 2014... On the drive to work I was thinking about what 2014 was all about for me. All year long I've felt really busy but when I really think about it, 2014 has been all about me finishing school. Almost every thing I did directly contributed to that particular war effort. I did research for my project; I studied real hard; I stood up a lot of friends. But now school is over and for the first time in my life, I am scared shitless of the future. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what I should do with my life now: get a Masters degree; start sitting for professional papers (no matter that I am not sure what particular profession I want to be a part of); start applying for jobs; get married; have a baby... I know they all mean well but can't I at least get a month to catch my breath?
The boyfriend just finished school too. I'm really proud of him. You think Actuarial Science is hard until you look at Engineering coursework! We are officially a young, broke, underemployed couple. If this were an Indie movie we'd move to a studio apartment in a large city where we'd chase our dreams. I would discover that I would much rather write than do pension valuations. He'd encourage me to quit my job and we'd live off his salary, supplemented by his trust fund (because in Indie movies there is always a secret trust fund in play. How else would they manage to lead such an enchanted existence?) But since this is real life, we'll try to get real jobs as soon as possible. When I tell the boyfriend how scared I am of the future all he says is, "You'll be okay." He says it offhandedly and I want to get mad at him for being glib and assuming when I realize that he's sure that I'll be okay. He believes I'll figure it out and because he knows me better than anyone else, I start to believe it too.
This year I read a lot too. Both e-books and hard copy books, thanks to 10000+ Free eBooks and paperbacks that sell for only Kshs. 100.
|My eBook Library.|
I'd say its been a good year. I pushed myself, tapping into energy reserves I didn't even know existed. I've made myself proud. I have a good feeling about 2015 and I pray that it will be good to you too. May you be the best you that you can possibly be next year.