Monday, 31 December 2012

2012: The Year That Was

I had issues about posting this because it felt kinda personal but hey, my blog, my rules. So here goes: Feel free to gag if it gets too sappy.

2012 was a one-of-a-kind year... but aren't they all. Thinking about it, if I were to sum it up in one phrase, without getting too personal... I would say that 2012 was a good year for Indie Rock. 2013 will be an even greater year because now the rest of the world will finally be catching up with the select few who've had ‘Mumford and Sons’ and ‘Of Monsters and Men’ on their playlists over and over. 2012 has also been a great year for Kenyan Rock. I need only mention ‘Parking Lot Grass’ for you to get my drift.

If I were to sum up 2012, in one phrase, being completely personal, I would say 2012 was the year I lost some... and then more. Sounds depressing, I know. I lost the trust I had in a person I believed I could ultimately trust... and with that I lost a friend, because though we are a lot of things now, we’ll probably never be true friends. I lost my aunt...and God knows that wasn't something I was ready to deal with. My aunt... well, she was special. The rare kind of people who aren't afraid to dream, to work for their dreams, to be different... I guess I’ll need a couple more hard knocks from life to completely come to terms with that.

I lost a home I had lived in since forever... I mean, I got a new one but it’s just not the same. In a sense I lost a life. I lost a bunch of friends along the year, most of them because I didn't try hard enough. Some because I figured they weren't worth my fight. I lost my child like belief that things will eventually work out; that if you are patient and loving, people will come around. I learnt that bad things more often than not happen to good people... and some people are just what they are...impossible.

The thing with losing is that you learn... or at least I do. I feel like I've grown up a whole decade in just one year. I am one of the most constant people I know... change isn't a necessary part of my make-up. But in this year alone I have changed so much that I was afraid I would lose myself too. I am not too sure that I haven’t. I told a friend of mine that I feel as if I have lost some of my ‘muchness’. I am not as much Ivy as I was a year ago. I was wrong. I am as much ‘Ivy’ as I have always been. I am just a different ‘Ivy’.

This different Ivy has a really good feeling about 2013. I faced so many of my fears in the past year that nothing fazes me much. In 2013 I am ready to grab new opportunities, wear my heart on my sleeve, cultivate richer relationships and generally be fabulous. 

'Sooner or later the things you love you lose'- Florence+The Machine- 'You got The Love I need'

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