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Showing posts from July, 2012

Facing my fears...

Fear no. 1: Babies “Shit-fuck shit-fuck shit-fuck ...” I thought as I rushed to grab the baby. “Shit-fuck,” I said as she began to wail. Her piercing cries carried across the house and did nothing to array my panic. I was afraid I would drop her again so I placed her on the sofa and paced around wondering what it is that I was supposed to do.  All I could think of was the fact that I had just dropped the baby... that and a couple of ‘shit-fucks’. Her incessant wailing prompted me to pick her up and rock her as I felt tears threatening to fall from my eyes. What kind of shit mom was I? Not only had I dropped the baby but now I was on the verge of tears instead of finding a way to help my daughter. Somehow I was able to find my phone and the cab driver’s number. He said he would be at my place in a jiffy. I smiled at that despite everything. Kimani was the only person I knew who actually used the word ‘jiffy’. The baby continued to cry all the while and I willed Kimani to h

Introduction

I wish I could use my first post here to gush about myself but that would be putting too much of myself out there. I would rather we took it slowly… this bizarre relationship where I write (not even sure if anyone will ever read this) and you read (without being sure who I am).  We could start with the basics: like the fact that I am a 19 year old woman girl who likes to read, write, watch movies, listen to music, laugh with my friends and make fun of my small brother. That previous sentence sounded a lot like my list of activities on my facebook… makes it sound as if life is all rainbows and sunflowers with me. It is, somewhat. I have everything I need and some of what I want. An amazing family, crazy friends, a complicated love-life, a major headache that is schoolwork, an evil sense of humour, free Wi-Fi at school, frequent releases from my favourite rock bands, and access to 10-bob popcorn whenever I crave it... and the opportunity to enjoy beautiful sunsets and sunr